Healing the wounds of white supremacy

Welcome. I provide therapy and guidance to help heart-centered change makers achieve a sense of balance, connection, and purpose in their lives and in their work. Healing white supremacy starts at home.

You’re a Healer, Educator, Leader, Parent, Activist/Artist. Bottom line, you’re a HELPA, and right now the world needs your gifts more than ever. 

Are you dismayed at humanity’s lack of response to the climate crisis, but don’t know how you could possibly make a difference?

Do your values and beliefs often leave you feeling isolated or misunderstood by family and friends?

Or maybe you’re already actively involved in antiracist activism, but you keep teetering on the edge of burnout.

It’s hard for us HELPAs to ignore the many ways in which the world is suffering around us. Pandemics, systemic racism, climate change. And yet most of us are no closer to solving our own problems than we were before 2020. Health problems, relationship problems, career problems. It’s long been my belief that a sick culture reproduces itself by making sure its HELPAs remain too sick to help anyone else. Take a look at this list:

  1. Fear
  2. Perfectionism
  3. Either/or thinking
  4. Prioritizing quantity over quality
  5. Individualism
  6. Defensiveness and denial
  7. Fear of conflict and discomfort
  8. Sense of urgency

Do any of these sound familiar to you? Have you noticed how these issues tend to get in the way of your ability to truly give your gift? You’re not alone. But did you know that all of the items on that list are characteristics of white supremacy culture?

Click on the image to be taken to the full Instagram post.

That’s right. The American journalist and meditation teacher Sally Kempton has said, “You can’t fight an enemy that has outposts in your head.” As HELPAs, if we want to help the world, we first have to help ourselves.

Fortunately, I believe that all of the problems that we are facing as a species are connected, and so are their solutions. 

  • If right now your inner wisdom tells you that you need to focus on personal growth or healing, I can help you with that. And you may be surprised to find out how learning to truly take care of yourself will have a positive ripple effect on the world around you.
  • If you’re impatient to start making a bigger difference in the world, I can help you with that, too, but don’t be shocked if in the process we take a look closer to home and address some needs that you didn’t even know that you had.
  • Sometimes when we go through a growth process and start working on our purpose, we find that old relational patterns still limit our impact. Maybe you’re already making a difference but you’re having trouble finding peace, connection, and understanding with your family or community. I can help you with that, too.
The left side of the image depicts a bulletin board displaying the message "self care isn't selfish." The right side of the image is a photograph of a person with a raised fist on the Brooklyn Bridge wearing a television-like head cover with the words "black lives matter" written on the side. The two images are joined by a plus sign in the middle. Healing the wounds of white supremacy starts at home.

I believe that seva (Sanskrit for selfless service) is an important part of any spiritual practice, and I also understand how sometimes caring so much for the world can feel like quite a burden. Together we will conduct a head-to-toe review of your life and your values to find what’s not working, what needs are going unmet, and what you can do to come back to wholeness. HELPAs need helping, too. You don’t have to do this alone.

Remember, selfless service without
self-care is self-sabotage.

About Nauser Bear, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist & Spiritual Activism Coach

Hi! My name’s Nauser Bear. My first name rhymes with “saucer.” (Yes, I’ve said that since I was in kindergarten.) In Arabic it means “helper granting victory.” My top three values are love, humor, and justice. I’m half-Persian, half-“white,” half-blind, and half convinced that we can save the world. I’m a licensed marriage and family therapist in California (LMFT# 123099; licensed with the BBS as Nicholas Reynolds) and a spiritual activism coach using tools and strategies from personal development, psychological healing, and spiritual growth to help heart-centered leaders discover their power and build the better world that our souls are yearning for.

I work with highly compassionate adults who struggle with codependency, shame, and low self-esteem, helping them build a foundation of self-love from which their natural capacity for caring can become a superpower at a time when the world needs more people willing to stand up for what’s right. As my clients step into their power and take control of their own lives, they start responding in healthy ways to national and global issues that humanity hasn’t figured out how to handle yet  (like COVID, systemic racism, and climate change). I use Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT), as well as humanistic and psychodynamic approaches to help my clients build self understanding and acceptance, identify their boundaries, values, and vision for the world, and create action plans to start making that vision a reality. I’m bicultural, and this makes it easier for me to connect with people across differences, particularly other bicultural individuals or white-passing POCs. I also work well with sensitive men whose shame about male-driven oppression of women has made it hard for them to embrace their healthy masculinity.

Nauser Bear’s Education and Training

Advanced Mindful Facilitation Techniques
Stirfry Seminars (2019)

Certificate in Child Therapy
Child Therapy Institute (2019)

MA in Integral Counseling Psychology
California Institute of Integral Studies (2017)

BA and MA in Linguistics
University of California at Santa Cruz (2005, 2007)

About my work: connecting personal growth with social justice

My passion for helping clients bridge the gap between personal growth and social change arose from paradoxical elements of my upbringing: I grew up in a multicultural extended family beset by addiction, abuse, and divorce, all the while receiving a robust social justice education from the Berkeley public school system as well as from members of my own family. As I grew older and did my own personal healing work, I began to see the connection between humanity’s collective pain and systems of injustice. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr, said, “The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.” Yes, it is true that “hurt people hurt people,” but isn’t it also true that hurt people let hurt people hurt people? I began to recognize the silence of good people as a trauma response, and consequently I began to see healing work as essential to social justice work.

How can I help you?

• Psychotherapy for depression, anxiety, stress, overwhelm, shame, low confidence and self-esteem

• Social justice-informed education and coaching on healthy communication and boundaries in relationships

Spiritually informed activism coaching for the pre-post-apocalypse

• Find your spiritual and life visions and start putting them into action

In my work with clients, my first commitment is to listen with patience, curiosity, and care as they tell the story of their pain. My second commitment is to honor their pain while providing education about its purpose and its causes, in order to help my clients become aware and let go of their story of not-enoughness that has become fused with the pain over the course of their life. My third commitment is to give my clients tools and strategies to start using their pain as a guide that can lead them back to their true selves. Hari Kondabolu says that therapy is like taking a class about yourself. You better believe that my class has homework.

When my clients begin to see how their pain is connected to the pain of people all over the world, and to the pain of the planet itself, the story of not-enoughness that they have been telling themselves their whole lives becomes less convincing. Once the story loses its authority, they are free to begin their healing work in earnest, inspired to be the change that they want to see in the world. Because no personal growth program is complete without a social justice focus.

An ornate arrangement of six sheets of paper, with the central one bearing the following quote from Martin Luther King, Jr: "The time is always right to do what is right." When we find it difficult to live into the truth of this statement and take a stand for social justice, personal growth can help us get back into alignment with our values.
Photo by Darold Pinnock on Unsplash

What People Say

Every time this man spoke, you stop talking and listen. There are few men who have had this effect on me and Nauser is such a man. A unicorn in the field of psychotherapy and coaching.

Daniel Alexander

Nauser is one of the most intelligent, introspective, loving people I have had the pleasure of speaking with. He has the unique ability to take complex ideas and make them interesting and simple to understand. I would recommend him to anyone looking to understand themselves and their place in the world on a deeper level.

Conor Boyland

You sir have given me a bit more hope in our nation. If there are more folks with these values of peace and love I wouldn’t be so scared for my children’s future.

Nicky Robinson

Let’s build something together.

Blog – How to be the change

How to be the change

Two major obstacles to change

“People don’t change.” “Nothing ever changes.” We’ve all heard these assessments of the possibility of change, but the fact is that, in the material realm that we live in, change is the only thing we can count on. In fact, if there’s one thing that fasting for four days in the desert taught me, it…

How to get along over Thanksgiving dinner

Thanksgiving is this week, and since there’s no indication that we’ve all become enlightened since last year, it’s probably time to talk about how to navigate those awkward political conversations with your relatives. Here’s my quick guide to how to get along with your relatives: First, you have to want to get along. Fighting takes…

Follow My Blog

Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.

Talk to a bicultural therapist or coach in California

If you have a question or comment, you can use the form below, or send me an email at nauserbeartherapy at gmail dot com. You can also call me at (510) 394-5373, or click the button below to schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation.

Send Us a Message